Dai
Let's grow together.
New Beginnings
A pencil begins unsharpened, but only becomes sharpened when a writer desires to create. If the pencil is to break, what was previously created is not altered. The broken end is left and the creator has to decide to either leave it broken, or resharpen it. This is true with life. If you break, you still have the ability to resharpen and create. The benefit now is that your life will carry your experiences in beautiful grooves. True creators do not allow their obstacles to hinder them. They use them to grow, develop and become advanced.
No, thank you.
I love God and my promise is to always prioritize his will over my own. It is an honor to obey, respect and choose to lean on my faith over my own understanding. I follow those two sentences by sharing that I am no longer engaged or in a relationship and have not been for a while now!
I can’t talk the talk without walking the walk so I choose to be a woman of faith; even when the road ahead is not clear.
The only thing I am clear about is that the Lord promised to be with me wherever I go and give me peace that surpasses understanding. The depths of my soul chooses him over and over again.
Through him, I also gain the rewards of increased wisdom, grace, emotional intelligence, self-respect, self-awareness and self-love.
So, it is well with my soul. It is well. 💗
Like I Never Left
The changes that I experienced through the last few months catapulted me into adulthood. I’m glad to be apart of the club.
This is a farewell to the former, more naive and inexperienced Dai and hello to the beautiful, relentless, powerful yet gentle woman who has emerged through life’s experiences.
This is also a hello to the blog again.
I’m back and you better believe I have a lot to say.
I Remember…
I remember riding through the dark county hills with all 4 windows down in a Chevy Silverado pickup truck one summer night.
I had just finished fishing in a private pond while wearing flip flops and my favorite leopard sun dress. This was fashioned with curls that were blowing wild in the air.
The music was blaring… I didn’t hear the song, but I’m not sure if the wind or my thoughts that were louder.
I stared at the moon and my mind began to wonder:
I wondered if anyone in the car thought things similar to me?
I wondered if I was different or unknowingly the same as everyone else?
If I was, why didn’t people talk about it?
The moon was the brightest light at night and the only thing in the world that appeared still.
I thought about love & how beautiful it was to look at the moon and know the person that you love saw the same one every night.
When I was younger, I was a hopeless romantic.
12 years later, I’m wiser but yet some things remain the same.
Adequacy
As we all venture through life, we will experience highs, lows and in-betweens. Most periods, we may feel the we are inadequate and incapable of achieving our deepest desires, healing and experiencing joy.
I’ve come to realize that social media is today’s main cause for feelings of inadequacy and it’s nothing but a facade. It’s a place where many people go to create the life that they wish they lived. It’s a place where what you have, and what you do can be created without actually being true.
Life is raw, unpredictable and honestly tough. Social media is not an authentic representation of everyday life. You will enter a deep and toxic matrix when you take the images online at face value. I’m here to tell you that not having it altogether is a reality and it should be embraced… because it’s real.
There will never be a time on this Earth where you will have all that you want and need. You will never reach perfection, so you must learn to rely on the only one that is perfect: God. I just want to share (after a long break) some of the things that I believe God are. Remember, you can place your peace in knowing that only God is perfect (and its this way purposely).
This pandemic has taught me that I have to constantly seek the Lord when feelings of inadequacy arise. As nervousness crept in today, I placed my mind on everything that God is and didn’t drop my pen until peace took ahold of my soul…
Jesus is:
- Adequate
- Grace
- Mercy
- Love
- Kindness
- Joy
- Protection
- Righteous
- Patient
- Powerful
- Noble
- our Weapon
- our Shield
- our Guardian
- our Refuge
- our Shepard
- our Best Friend
- our LORD
- the Savior
- Omnipotent
- Omnipresent
- Omniscience
- Light
- Sovereignty
- Perfection
- a Soul-Bearer
- a Burden-Bearer
- Alpha
- Omega
- our Beginning
- our End
He:
- Tests you, to advance you
- Believes in you
- Washes your soul clean
- Chastens you
- Notices you
- Uplifts you
- Corrects you
- Waits for you
There’s More:
- He goes to the mountain top with you, and will sit in the low valley with you.
- He listens to you
- He talks to you
- He counsels you
- He goes before you
- He protects you
- He will never give up on you
- He walks with you
- He counts on you
- He rejoices with you
- He weeps with you
- He knows everything about you
- He knows all that you have overcome
- He thinks about you
- He includes you
- He prays for you
- He blesses you
- He imagined you
- He created you
- He smiles on you
- He is pleased with you
- He gives you a perfect example
- He sacrificed for you
- He prepared a place just for you
- He died for you
- He will meet you in glory
- He lives in you
He is all that we cannot be, but because we chose to abide in all that he is, we are adequate. We are enough.
Adequacy is the state of being satisfactory or acceptable in all quality and quantity.
May this hug your soul the way it has taken the grasp of mine. Thank you for reading.
2021
I feel so good today and that feels damn good to say.
Today, I got to march to the beat of my own drum and do the small things I always tell myself that I should do. With my father passing away a little over 2 months ago, I’m proving to myself that I am still capable enough to beat the odds and strong enough to make my future mine.
Day 3
What I learned in 2020: Grief is one hell of an emotion. (and wearing our masks really prevents the spread COVID)
A good year is not defined through everything that is given to you, but through your ability to make good out of any circumstance that is thrown your way. It is through your ability to overcome, prevail and choose to be the best version of you.
You definitely gain more through storms than you do through sunshine.
I have God to thank for it all.
Happy New Year 🤍
2020
Wow… It’s been a while. I think about my blog a lot, but I honestly think that the most genuine and heart-felt posts that I make are the posts that are uploaded when I feel like it: when I feel like putting my thoughts into words….when I feel like being vulnerable… when I feel like it!
Never allow pressures of the world to make you feel like anything you love to do has to be a job or responsibility.
I originally created my blog for inspiration; and to dump all of my thoughts in one place lol. I have no control over who reads my blogs and how they feel afterwards but I pray that if my words ever find you, they also bless you and give you a deeper look into who I am, who I’m becoming and who I’ve always been deep down inside.
Hi Friend 🙂
2020 has been a hell of a ride. A global pandemic?! What the heck… I didn’t know what to expect going into the year, I just knew that life was changing. When you have that gut feeling, listen to it because WHEW.
In retrospect, I was right.
About 3 months ago, my father passed away. Wow? typing that [for the first time] is almost just as strange as trying to wrap my brain around the fact that I will never see my own dad again…
The last three months have been the most raw months of my entire life. I cried for about 30 days straight. I tried to focus on every positive. I doubted myself. I doubted my family. I questioned God. I didn’t understand why all of a sudden my world was flipped upside down. One day, I was sitting at work reading my daily devotion and the next day, I was picking out the color of my own father’s casket.
Everyday was a new emotion. Slowly, I’ve come across a gem that made me realize a lot about myself and through this realization, a lot about others. Before October 2020, I thought I knew a lot about life and a lot about myself, but God gave me the biggest reality check.
God is in control and will always be. I’ve learned what it means to be vulnerable, compassionate, strong, reliable, honest and how important it is to have a clean soul. Every single day I speak to God. I accept that he is the person in charge of life and death. Since he knew all that would happen this year, I learned to just depend on his will and accept the plan that HE has for me… and then make his plan for me my own plan! lol
The best gift to you and I is the Lord.
In 2020, I had to redefine strength. I had to experience a new level of pain. I had to learn how to confront my emotions. I faced growing pains.
2020 has turned me into a woman.
Life is such a beautiful and precious gift. I am so grateful for the support system that I have: my mother, grandparents, friends and my soul mate really touched me and made me realize that sometimes, we won’t be okay and that’s just a part of life.
The joy and peace that only God can give is why he is my absolute favorite and will always be. The Lord is a man of many names, but he is my everything.
May 2021 bless you.
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It’s been a While…
…more than just a few months and the world is changing. I’m changing. Life is pushing forward. In the past few months, I’ve experienced loss, love and growth. People tell you “Happy Birthday” every year, but I think life would be a lot better if they dropped some wisdom on you for your special day. I realized a lot while I have been gone. I’ll share a few:
- Loss doesn’t always occur when someone is dead and sometimes that form of loss can hurt more than a death. My aunt passed away a few months ago… she knew her time was near but kept it to herself. She didn’t want others to suffer with her. She is at peace. I lost a really close friend. She’s still alive and I feel re-born.
- Growth is something that we have to work on every single day. There’s so much happening in the world. You have to watch what information you expose yourself to and how you view yourself all while continuing to build your character.
- The world is changing. I’m celebrating my 24th birthday in the middle of a pandemic. I have been inside for over 30 days. Ironically, through this time, I have become so close to my family and more importantly – Jesus.
- Sometimes I forget how far I’ve come and I forget to look at the big picture. I believe if you are a true believer in Christ, you catch subtle hints of his presence and Jesus re-grounds you at your lowest and lifts you to your highest.
This is the first year of my life where I feel like I’m actually making an effort to read the Bible. I’m at peace with the past. This blog post alone was so healing. I’m in a good place.
Humbled.
Writing is a blessing and a gift! Luckly, I can pick up my blog whenever I choose… Whenever I need an extra dose of authentic mental healing.
Throughout the past few months, I’ve been living and trying to figure out life; all while maintaining my mental, spiritual and social life. This week, I hit a wall. Not sure if my hormones contributed to this a whole lot, but this week, I had it!
Alignment.
It’s been a while.
I started writing this blog post weeks ago, but it’s been super difficult to tell an “interesting story”. I’ve honestly been very happy and full of joy within the last few months. I think my most creative writing comes out through pain. Lately, I’ve been surviving. I’ve been living. I’ve been growing. I’ve been teaching mysef things about myself. I am at peace with myself, but I am also pushing myself towards reaching higher highs.
First and foremost, I do not know a lot of things. Strange right? lol The more I learn, the more I realize the things I have yet to learn. Sometimes, my blogs give off the impression that I think I am perfect, but I’m not; I am okay with not knowing it all.
Lately, I’ve been rewarding, disciplining, forgiving and most importantly, loving myself.
I am in a strange era in life where I’m trying to figure it all out for myself. It is the most beautiful and tough transition I have ever went through. I am making decisions that not only make myself happy, but my family as well. My focus is on today, tomorrow and the future. I am holding myself accountable for the decisoins I make; and making sure that the decisoins I make are in line with my aspirations. I am holding myself accountable for reaching my full potential and becoming the person that God has called me to be.
Sometimes, I look at growth as not enough. There are things that I want, but I have to pay special attention on remembering what I already have. I am more than just a goal-seeker. I am more than just a person on a journey. My health is important. So while I am acheiving my goals, I will also focus on appreciating right where I am.
In the next era of my life, everything must go.
My brothers and sisters, we have to make room for our happiness. I am emptying myself of depression, negativity and pain. I welcome our creator’s fruit into my spirit. I welcome peace. Connecting to him, I have hope and faith in a beautiful future.
I can do anything. You can do anything. WE can do anything that we set in our hearts to do!
Do not allow all of your hope and faith to be taken from you. Through life we pick up habits that we have to get rid of before moving into a new season in our life. Sometimes, God “moves” in order for us to move and follow him.
How hungry are you to enter into new dimensions in your life?
The person that God has called you to be is deep down inside of you.
Birds Calling
I woke up.
I set a timer for 10 minutes.
I sat up and closed my eyes.
I inhaled through my nose and released each breath through my mouth.
I saw sunlight underneath my eyelids.
I heard birds chirping a beautiful song.
I felt the first spring breeze on my face.
I thanked God for another day.
I felt my body lighten.
I meditated.
As I finished, I heard the sound of a car engine roar.
The start of that car was also the start to my day.
Let it be marvelous.
Dai 